[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
in the nose.
Von Bülow saved himself in time - but, canny diplomat
that he was, he nevertheless had made one error: he
should have begun by talking about his own shortcomings
and Wilhelm s superiority - not by intimating that
the Kaiser was a half-wit in need of a guardian.
If a few sentences humbling oneself and praising the
other party can turn a haughty, insulted Kaiser into a
staunch friend, imagine what humility and praise can do
for you and me in our daily contacts. Rightfully used,
they will work veritable miracles in human relations.
Admitting one s own mistakes - even when one hasn t
corrected them - can help convince somebody to change
his behavior. This was illustrated more recently by Clarence
Zerhusen of Timonium, Maryland, when he discovered
his fifteen-year-old son was experimenting with
cigarettes.
Naturally, I didn t want David to smoke, Mr. Zerhusen
told us, but his mother and I smoked cigarettes;
we were giving him a bad example all the time. I explained
to Dave how I started smoking at about his age
and how the nicotine had gotten the best of me and now
it was nearly impossible for me to stop. I reminded him
how irritating my cough was and how he had been after
me to give up cigarettes not many years before.
"I didn t exhort him to stop or make threats or warn
him about their dangers. All I did was point out how I
was hooked on cigarettes and what it had meant to me.
He thought about it for a while and decided he
wouldn t smoke until he had graduated from high
school. As the years went by David never did start smoking
and has no intention of ever doing so.
As a result of that conversation I made the decision
to stop smoking cigarettes myself, and with the support
of my family, I have succeeded.
A good leader follows this principle:
PRINCIPLE 3
Talk about your own mistakes before
criticizing the other person.
4
NO ONE LIKES TO TAKE
ORDERS
I once had the pleasure of dining with Miss Ida Tarbell,
the dean of American biographers. When I told her I was
writing this book, we began discussing this all-important
subject of getting along with people, and she told me
that while she was writing her biography of Owen D.
Young, she interviewed a man who had sat for three
years in the same office with Mr. Young. This man declared
that during all that time he had never heard Owen
D. Young give a direct order to anyone. He always gave
suggestions, not orders. Owen D. Young never said, for
example, Do this or do that, or Don t do this or don t
do that. He would say, You might consider this, or
Do you think that would work? Frequently he would
say, after he had dictated a letter, What do you think of
this? In looking over a letter of one of his assistants, he
would say, Maybe if we were to phrase it this way it
would be better. He always gave people the opportunity
to do things themselves; he never told his assistants
to do things; he let them do them, let them learn from
their mistakes.
A technique like that makes it easy for a person to
correct errors. A technique like that saves a person s
pride and gives him or her a feeling of importance. It
encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.
Resentment caused by a brash order may last a long
time -even if the order was given to correct an obviously
bad situation. Dan Santarelli, a teacher at a vocational
school in Wyoming, Pennsylvania, told one of
our classes how one of his students had blocked the entrance
way to one of the school s shops by illegally parking
his car in it. One of the other instructors stormed into
the classroom and asked in an arrogant tone, Whose car
is blocking the driveway?" When the student who
owned the car responded, the instructor screamed:
Move that car and move it right now, or I ll wrap a
chain around it and drag it out of there.
Now that student was wrong. The car should not have
been parked there. But from that day on, not only did
that student resent the instructor s action, but all the
students in the class did everything they could to give
the instructor a hard time and make his job unpleasant.
How could he have handled it differently? If he had
asked in a friendly way, Whose car is in the driveway?
and then suggested that if it were moved, other cars
could get in and out, the student would have gladly
moved it and neither he nor his classmates would have
been upset and resentful.
Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable;
it often stimulates the creativity of the persons
whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order
if they have had a part in the decision that caused the
order to be issued.
When Ian Macdonald of Johannesburg, South Africa,
the general manager of a small manufacturing plant specializing
in precision machine parts, had the opportunity
to accept a very large order, he was convinced that he
would not meet the promised delivery date. The work
already scheduled in the shop and the short completion
time needed for this order made it seem impossible for
him to accept the order.
Instead of pushing his people to accelerate their work
and rush the order through, he called everybody together,
explained the situation to them, and told them
how much it would mean to the company and to them if
they could make it possible to produce the order on
time. Then he started asking questions:
Is there anything we can do to handle this order?
Can anyone think of different ways to process it
through the shop that will make it possible to take the
order?
Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnel
assignments that would help? [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl exclamation.htw.pl
in the nose.
Von Bülow saved himself in time - but, canny diplomat
that he was, he nevertheless had made one error: he
should have begun by talking about his own shortcomings
and Wilhelm s superiority - not by intimating that
the Kaiser was a half-wit in need of a guardian.
If a few sentences humbling oneself and praising the
other party can turn a haughty, insulted Kaiser into a
staunch friend, imagine what humility and praise can do
for you and me in our daily contacts. Rightfully used,
they will work veritable miracles in human relations.
Admitting one s own mistakes - even when one hasn t
corrected them - can help convince somebody to change
his behavior. This was illustrated more recently by Clarence
Zerhusen of Timonium, Maryland, when he discovered
his fifteen-year-old son was experimenting with
cigarettes.
Naturally, I didn t want David to smoke, Mr. Zerhusen
told us, but his mother and I smoked cigarettes;
we were giving him a bad example all the time. I explained
to Dave how I started smoking at about his age
and how the nicotine had gotten the best of me and now
it was nearly impossible for me to stop. I reminded him
how irritating my cough was and how he had been after
me to give up cigarettes not many years before.
"I didn t exhort him to stop or make threats or warn
him about their dangers. All I did was point out how I
was hooked on cigarettes and what it had meant to me.
He thought about it for a while and decided he
wouldn t smoke until he had graduated from high
school. As the years went by David never did start smoking
and has no intention of ever doing so.
As a result of that conversation I made the decision
to stop smoking cigarettes myself, and with the support
of my family, I have succeeded.
A good leader follows this principle:
PRINCIPLE 3
Talk about your own mistakes before
criticizing the other person.
4
NO ONE LIKES TO TAKE
ORDERS
I once had the pleasure of dining with Miss Ida Tarbell,
the dean of American biographers. When I told her I was
writing this book, we began discussing this all-important
subject of getting along with people, and she told me
that while she was writing her biography of Owen D.
Young, she interviewed a man who had sat for three
years in the same office with Mr. Young. This man declared
that during all that time he had never heard Owen
D. Young give a direct order to anyone. He always gave
suggestions, not orders. Owen D. Young never said, for
example, Do this or do that, or Don t do this or don t
do that. He would say, You might consider this, or
Do you think that would work? Frequently he would
say, after he had dictated a letter, What do you think of
this? In looking over a letter of one of his assistants, he
would say, Maybe if we were to phrase it this way it
would be better. He always gave people the opportunity
to do things themselves; he never told his assistants
to do things; he let them do them, let them learn from
their mistakes.
A technique like that makes it easy for a person to
correct errors. A technique like that saves a person s
pride and gives him or her a feeling of importance. It
encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.
Resentment caused by a brash order may last a long
time -even if the order was given to correct an obviously
bad situation. Dan Santarelli, a teacher at a vocational
school in Wyoming, Pennsylvania, told one of
our classes how one of his students had blocked the entrance
way to one of the school s shops by illegally parking
his car in it. One of the other instructors stormed into
the classroom and asked in an arrogant tone, Whose car
is blocking the driveway?" When the student who
owned the car responded, the instructor screamed:
Move that car and move it right now, or I ll wrap a
chain around it and drag it out of there.
Now that student was wrong. The car should not have
been parked there. But from that day on, not only did
that student resent the instructor s action, but all the
students in the class did everything they could to give
the instructor a hard time and make his job unpleasant.
How could he have handled it differently? If he had
asked in a friendly way, Whose car is in the driveway?
and then suggested that if it were moved, other cars
could get in and out, the student would have gladly
moved it and neither he nor his classmates would have
been upset and resentful.
Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable;
it often stimulates the creativity of the persons
whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order
if they have had a part in the decision that caused the
order to be issued.
When Ian Macdonald of Johannesburg, South Africa,
the general manager of a small manufacturing plant specializing
in precision machine parts, had the opportunity
to accept a very large order, he was convinced that he
would not meet the promised delivery date. The work
already scheduled in the shop and the short completion
time needed for this order made it seem impossible for
him to accept the order.
Instead of pushing his people to accelerate their work
and rush the order through, he called everybody together,
explained the situation to them, and told them
how much it would mean to the company and to them if
they could make it possible to produce the order on
time. Then he started asking questions:
Is there anything we can do to handle this order?
Can anyone think of different ways to process it
through the shop that will make it possible to take the
order?
Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnel
assignments that would help? [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]