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legs.
Ben s face looked like it had been carved in stone as he carefully washed away the
blood. His gaze zeroed in on the cut as he gently prodded the split skin with the pads of his
fingers.  It ll probably scar.
 I don t care, if you don t, Neil said.
Ben drew his attention away from the cut.  You think a scar would ever matter to me?
 No, but if every time you look at it you try and blame yourself, I ll get it sewn up.
Neil put his hands on Ben s handsome face.  I know you too well. This isn t your fault. It was
an accident.
Ben tossed the washcloth into the sink before reaching for the first aid kit. As he dabbed
the cut area with Neosporin, he bit his bottom lip.  I was angry with you, but I should ve
never left you to make it inside on your own.
Neil winced when Ben closed the cut with two butterfly bandages.  I reckon you had a
right to be pissed.
Ben sat back and dropped his hands to his lap.  What do you say we have this
discussion over a couple of roast sandwiches?
Neil grinned.  I d rather you made me some of your special pancakes.
Ben s eyes narrowed.  Aren t you a little old for Mickey Mouse pancakes?
Neil shook his head.  I ll never be too old for something that makes me feel so loved.
NEIL S GUARDIAN ANGEL Carol Lynne
72
Chapter Seven
Ben poured the batter onto the griddle in the familiar three-circled Mickey Mouse
shape. He still found it hard to believe Neil remembered the silly pancakes he used to make
the scared little boy during rough times.
 I like it when you take care of me, Neil said from his seat at the table.
Ben closed his eyes and gripped the spatula.  That s all I ve ever wanted to do, he
finally admitted, opening his eyes again.
 Why? Neil asked.  Is it that you ve always just felt sorry for me, or is there something
else?
Ben carefully flipped the pancake over. How many times had he asked himself the same
question in the last four years? He knew he d held no inappropriate feelings for Neil when he
was younger, so what changed and when exactly?
Once the pancake was ready, he added it to the stack and turned off the griddle. He set
the plate on the table and retrieved the small pitcher of syrup from the microwave before
taking his seat.
Neil made no effort to fill his plate. Instead he looked at Ben, obviously hoping for an
answer to his question.
 I m not going to lie and say I didn t feel sorry for you. No kid deserved the kind of
childhood you had. Ben rested his elbows on the table and scrubbed at his tired eyes.
 I remember the summer before you turned eighteen very well, a specific day, actually.
It was hot, and I asked you if you wanted to go to the pool. You jumped at the chance, of
course and ran in to your room to change into your swim trunks. I cleaned up the lunch
dishes and went to your room to see what was taking you so long.
 And you caught me jacking off, Neil finished for him.
 Yeah.
 It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, Neil remembered.
Ben shrugged.  It shouldn t have been. It was my fault for not knocking first. Hell, you
were seventeen. It s perfectly natural for a boy that age.
NEIL S GUARDIAN ANGEL Carol Lynne
73
Neil nodded.  Yeah, except the reason I had to jack off in the first place was because I
got hard thinking about seeing you in a suit for the first time. I was already madly in love
with you and the thought of you all wet and slippery&  Neil snorted.  Even the
embarrassment of you catching me didn t keep my dick down that day. I remember I stayed
in the water the entire time we were there because I didn t want you or anyone else to see me
like that.
Ben reached across the table and squeezed Neil s hand.  It was the day I recognised you
as the man you d become. I didn t have any trouble keeping my cock soft because the shame
and embarrassment over what I wanted to do to you were enough to put me off sex for quite
a while.
Neil nodded his head slowly.  That s about the same time Jeremy stopped coming
around.
 Yep. I m not sure if it was my lack of interest in him or the fear that he d see you like I
did that prompted his dismissal. All I knew was I couldn t take the chance that he d come
onto you.
 Did you already know I was gay? Neil asked. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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